i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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