Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
