Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
