and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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