He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
