Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
as a side note pls kill me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
