I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
