i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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