Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
