Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
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He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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