ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
