I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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