i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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