Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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