FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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