So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
