Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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