Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
