After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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