I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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