yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
