I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
