I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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