ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
