i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
