Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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