I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
