recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the day after is always just damage control
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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