After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The Olympian is in my bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
