We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
