Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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