does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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