I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
