SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
