god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
try to milk me bitch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
