Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
