I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize