im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
