I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
