it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
