Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
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Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.