whats a polygalesbian?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married