some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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