dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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