S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
