Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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