It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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