How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize