Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize