he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
