What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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