Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
