i permit you to call me
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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