I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
