he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize