Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
