I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
