did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
