I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment