You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
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I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.