You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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