normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
