i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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